Friday, March 30

when the shit hits the fan, or the sidewalk in this case

First, I just want to say thanks to all of you (those who commented and those who contacted me privately) for your support yesterday! I am much better today though still jobless and have jumped back on the search trail applying to a whopping 7 job listings today. Yay me! I also emailed the hiring manager to see if I can get any info on why I was passed over, and my friend who knows her is contacting her as well. If I get any insight, I'll be sure to let you know.

In the meantime, let's talk shit. Really. I'm talking big shit. The size of road apples shit. Shit coming from the Rottweiler that lives two doors down from me. The same seriously mean ass dog that gets out of his yard, comes into my front yard, and has the audacity to growl at me as if I have no business being out in front of my own home.

But let's get back to the shit.

The other day I saw the freaky teenager who shares the house with the aforementioned and the Rottweiler stroll past the house on the way back to theirs. This is the same freak that used to come into my garage and steal my cigarettes until I staked out the garage one afternoon armed with my camera as he and his equally freaky friend tried their little rip off one too many times. Yeah. Nice neighbors, huh? Again I digress.

So the kid and dog pass the house. A short time later I go outside and what do I see gracing the sidewalk between my next door neighbor and I? Dog shit. By the way, this is the same neighbor that the Rottweiler broke through the fence and went into their yard terrifying the non-English speaking female of the house and making her little drop kick dog pee the floor in utter fear.

Are you seeing a pattern here?

Back to the shit. That's really what this is all about.

These things are truly the size of road apples, so there's no mistaking whose dog they came out of. And there's absolutely NO WAY if you're out walking that monster you could NOT notice him dropping them. I mean really. What gets me is this is not the first, or second, or even third time this has happened. It happens, in fact, on a regular basis. And, frankly, I'm sick of it.

What can I do? I've conjured up ideas of collecting the shit, brown baggin' it, and setting it in front of their door as I light it up for their enjoyment. I've pictured what it would be like to place the shit under their car tires so when they drive out they run over it, spreading it all over their car and driveway. But, in all honesty, I refuse to go pick up someone elses dog shit. Lord knows I've got enough of my own dog shit in the backyard that needs to be picked up.

So, what's left? What would you do in this situation?

I'm truly fed up with this shit!


Freak Magnet said...

Call the local animal people and tell them what's going on. They'll issue them a citation and if they don't pay it, they'll have to go to court.

To hell with that crap. Oh, wow. I just made a funny. AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Groove said...

I'd shovel it onto their roof, or on top of their AC, or on their deck,'s just shit.....but that's just me.

Actually, I here prestone smoothies work really well on dog shit...and not a peep about being mean...sheesh!

Lisa said...

freak magnet: You know, I was thinking of calling them but with the way our city works they'd probably just tell me to pick it up myself.

groove: Bring the shovel! Hehe!!

creative-type dad said...

freakin' a!!
What kind of sick people let a crazy mean dog like that get out.

Not only would I be calling animal control, but I would be lighting that dog crap in a brown bag and dropping it on their doorstep.

Stacie said...

Frankly, I think you need to be more concerned with the fact that they were stealing your ciggies. Shit versus smokes, girl? Come on! ;)

Freak Magnet said...

I was reading Groove's comment and got a sudden visual of someone sling-shotting it back at them.

the weirdgirl said...

I would collect it in a bag and leave it on their front step (unlighted) with a note that says, "Saw that you dropped this. Thought I'd be a good neighbor and return it!" Do that 2-3 times and they'll get the hint. No one wants shit to keep showing up on their front step. Oh, and I'd call the city on them, too.

Sorry about the job!

Groove said...

Remember those water balloon launchers that take 3 people...

OK you don't have 3 people but the slingshot is a priceless idea!!