Sunday, March 4

pop... drip... click... THUNK!

Have I mentioned I don't have a job, and therefore don't have an income? Ok, maybe once or twice. Right?

But have I mentioned that every couple of weeks or so something around the house decides to take a major dump?? Yes, Groove... I know I said I wouldn't bitch about my shit breaking down anymore, but keep reading and you might have some sympathy. I swear I'm starting to think I'm living in a money pit.

Here's the short list that's apparently trying to grow longer and longer till it swallows me up of things that are a) broken and in need of repair, b) broke and have been repaired, or c) are just fucking with me to see how long my sanity will stay in tact.

  1. Fireplace. Been broken since we moved in. I think it's a gas problem. Stupid repair dood says it's electrical. Whatever. Haven't spent the time or money to have it fixed in the five and a half years I've lived here yet, and not gonna do it anytime soon now.
  2. Over the range microwave. Yeah, it crapped out a few years ago. Lights work. Fan works. Clock and timer work too. Just don't try to cook anything or the yummy electrical smoke will come pouring out choking the last breath you have in you. Thankfully I had a spare countertop model laying around so I can still cook.
  3. Kitchen faucet. Brand new one working like a charm. The old one - broken in bits.
  4. Garage door. This was a biggie. The spring snapped and tried to rip the door right down the center. Do I need to use the garage door? No, not really. But after a month of going in and out the front door exclusively I broke down and had it repaired. At least I didn't have to buy a new one.
  5. Front door lock. A key broke off and got stuck. After complete removal, disassembly, cleaning, and reassembly of the lock, I'm back in business.
  6. Roof leak. Yeah, it came back again this year. Short of completely redoing the flashing, and sealing up the stupid air vent that's supposed to let the walls breathe (wtf?) I sealed that baby up with Great Stuff which either turned out to be notsogreat or I just didn't get it in the right place since the leak was still leaking on the really windy, rainy days.
  7. Dishwasher. Finding a puddle creeping across the kitchen floor is usually a good sign there's something wrong. Ugh! After 2 weeks of washing ALL dishes by hand (no, no, no!!) a disposable pie tin now collects the 'drips' during the wash cycle.
  8. Laundry room doorknob. Ok, this one's been slowly breaking down for awhile now, but when you cut the doorknob hole in the door too big, and the knob slides right to left, what the hell do you suspect is going to happen?
Note: Items 3-8 have happened in the past 6 1/2 months!

And if all of these aren't enough to push me over the edge, yesterday was certainly the icing on the cake. While the last load of laundry tumbled around in the dryer, I sat down for the first time in 6 hours. Listening to the whir of the machine made my eyes a little heavy, so I closed them for just a couple of minutes when all of a sudden...


The loudest and most obnoxious thunking sound similar to that of a washing machine getting off balance but a hundred times louder and faster came roaring from the laundry room. I jumped up and ran faster than I knew I could move hoping the damn thing wasn't going to explode and burn down the house before I got there to turn it off. WTF??? Good gawd! I seriously do NOT need another broken appliance in this house!!!

After removing the mostly dried clothing I just walked away. I couldn't bear to even think about what might be wrong with it, or how to fix it, or how much freakin' money it would cost to buy a new one. Ugh!!

A few hours later, after the machine had cooled and I was pretty sure it wasn't going to explode on me if I tried turning it on, I put the dial on 'less dry' and pushed the start button praying I wasn't stepping on a landmine. It came to life with its usual whir, no thunk, thunk, thunk. What the hell does that mean? I'm afraid to even try it with clothes in there. Thankfully my laundry's done. For now.

At least it's not my furnace. That would be BAD!


Groove said...

I'm not going to give you any crap...I'm the one who discovered his furnace is fooked yesterday....

Granted the 60 degree weather the last two days has mitigated my feelings. If it gets down to 30 again I might just grag out our old kerosene heater. It's a shame the damn fireplace fan broke last fall and I was too cheap to have it fixed that close to Xmas. At least we have 'heat'.

Sizzle said...

the perils of home ownership. aack!

Stacie said...

Oh, girl. You are a goddamned mess.

Hey, Groove-don't bring in the gas grill...I hear that's a big thing on the West Coast. ;)