Wednesday, January 30

thinking differently

I was tagged last week by Jenny at stickyfeathers for this thinking challenge. To get the blah blah out of the way, here's the rules..... Write a blog post about thinking differently. Let them know it's part of the Think Different Challenge and include a link and/or trackback to this post. At the end go ahead and tag some fellow bloggers. Don’t forget to let them know they've been tagged.

Wow this is a tough one! At the ripe old age of forty my opinion meter is pretty well stuck on most subjects. I’ve sat here running through things I might be able to think differently about and am really stretching on this one. Don’t know that I can actually pull it off, but it’s worth putting in writing I suppose.

The thing I’d like to start thinking differently about is me. That’s right, me. I am totally my own worst critic (I think?). I’m pretty damned hard on myself and hold myself to a much higher standard than I do anyone else. Why is this? Was it the way I was raised? Was there some turning point in my life that I can’t quite pin down? Who the hell knows, but I’m willing to examine it and give it shot, so here goes.

The physical me
One would think after working hard to lose a whopping 45 lbs. I’d have a better self-image. One would be wrong. Any time I look in the mirror I find something, and more times than not multiple something(s), to criticize. From my muffin top to my hair to my double-chin, all are open targets. And I won’t even tell you how disgusted the wide load I carry on the back side makes me. I want to start looking in the mirror and seeing the positive, the progress I’ve made, and not worry so much about what’s left to work on.

The emotional me
I’m a worrier. I worry about anything and everything. Sadly many of my worries are things that are out of my control, such as problems my friends are facing that the intellectual side of me knows I can’t fix but the emotional side wants to. I want to continue to be as supportive as I can but stop sweating what I know I cannot change. Maybe this will help with my erratic sleep cycle?

The intellectual me
Haha! What intellectual me? See, there I go criticizing myself again. I’ve never claimed to be the sharpest crayon in the box but I’m certainly not the dullest either. For years I’ve beat myself up for not finishing my college degree. I know, it’s never too late, yet right now I really can’t see (read as “afford”) finishing it. I want to stop using it as an excuse for not finding that ideal job. I want to use the brain power I know I harness for bettering myself. I just wish my brain wasn’t always so tired.

So there you have it. I want/need to start thinking differently about me. Let’s see what these people want to think differently about…

Liss at Epiphanies & Random Thoughts
Nicki at Everybody Else is Doing It
Lesley at patron saint of smart mouths

35 comments:

Sizzle said...

you're so hard on yourself. you're great!

jessica said...

i enjoyed reading this. aren't we all our own worst critic. that sucks, doesn't it! i've also got aspirations to look at things much differently than i currently do, and i guess it all starts with 'me' - good luck! i'll be looking forward to reading whether it's working or not.

Subconscious Mind said...

Thanks for the great and motivating post! I fully agree with you. Do check out http://www.subconscious-mind.org, they have a whole host of interesting and helpful articles.

jenny cook said...

great post! i think i need to start thinking differently about myself as well! :)

Jay said...

This is the best excuse for a meme I've come across yet.

You're a lovely person, you know.

Freak Magnet said...

I think you're wonderful and beautiful and you're the best color in the crayon box EVER!!!

I think it's great you have these goals. I really do. And if you need help with the body image thing, watch How To Look Good Naked. It opens your eyes. I'm not one for reality shows, but that's a keeper.

Whiskeymarie said...

What a great meme. You ARE too hard on yourself, but really- who isn't?

We all think you're gorgeous and smart as a whip.
Plus you've got a nice rack.

the weirdgirl said...

Just from reading your blog, you're obviously an intellectual. School finished or not. Trust me, I've met a lot of people with oodles of education (some from fancy universities, not a state college like mine) and compared to them you've got a brain and a half girl!

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