Wednesday, February 28

wednesday wrap-up

How is it Wednesday already? But, more important, how is it NOT Friday yet? Life seems to be on fast-forward this week. I'm sure it's mostly due to me making the commitment to some major life changes this past weekend.

One thing I decided needed more attention from me is WJ. So last weekend was spent for the most part doing stuff with him. On Saturday we went out to lunch, then hit the two major bookstores where we both had gift cards from Christmas. Stace had told me about this kid's cookbook put out by Rachael Ray she'd picked up for Michael earlier in the week, so we started our hunt with that. It's really cool, and has a bunch of great recipes broken out into age groups for the kids to pretty much do most of the food prep and/or cooking. Our first recipe, made on Sunday, was Ria's Double-Chips Cookies with Peanut Butter and Chocolate Chips. In the words of Rachael... yummo! And the best part is there's no eggs in these so we baked up the first half and threw the rest of the dough in the fridge to bake up later this week. As you can see, WJ had a blast. We also picked up an assortment of other books for the both of us and spent quite a bit of time reading throughout the weekend.

And my reading is what brought me to my other commitment to changes. I picked up Bob Greene's Get With the Program. How could I pass it up when it was only $3.99 in the reduced section? Seriously, the main reason I got it was for the section on "emotional eating". I've always known I was an emotional eater, but wasn't really ready to admit it. Well, now I am. You can read about my attempts at getting my ass in gear over at my new blog, Girl Redefined.

So what else did I want to tell you? Hmm. Oh yeah, there's 49 days till party time!!! Woot!! I'm not really excited about it, or anything. Hehe!

Oh yeah. An update on my last post. So, I took Stacie's advise and we made a chore chart last night. Printed it up, hung it on the fridge, and agreed on a price. You'll love this conversation.

"So, looking at all the chores for the week, how much do you think they're all worth?"

"A hundred bucks!?" he said with a grin a mile wide.

I laughed out loud and said, "Uh, notsomuch! Seriously, how much do you think it's worth?"

After a few rounds of "Maybe $95" etc. I finally said, "Well, let me tell you what I would have gotten for all this. About $2.50." I think he was pretty shocked. So then I suggested $6.00 a week - one dollar for year he is old.

"How about $6.50 since I'm really 6 1/2!"

Have I mentioned my kid's gonna be a politician?

Monday, February 26

when do you know it's time to start with an allowance?

I really am lucky cuz WJ has always been a good helper. Only problem is I feel like I have to ask, or demand depending on the situation, most of the time - and it's getting really, really old. I think the problem is there isn't any motivation for him to do things without being told.

Since he goes to a Catholic school, they are learning about Lent. Last week a homework assignment came home from the religion teacher. They were to come up with an activity that they could do, on their own, without having to be told to do so. This is so different from when I was growing up and we had to give something up for the Lenten season, but whatever works. Problem is, it's not working. WJ chose to feed the dog morning and night without me having to remind him. So far, this morning is the only time he's done it without coaxing.

This all got me to thinking about an allowance. I can't remember how old I was when I first started getting an allowance for doing chores, but I'm thinking it might give him some motivation to get things done around here. And I could certainly use the help!

How old were you when you started getting an allowance? Or started giving your kids an allowance? And how much are chores worth these days? I'm sure the price is staggeringly higher than when I was a kid... in the dark ages.

Saturday, February 24

this time i'm prepared

My computer is old. Very old! And despite months and months of changes, fixes, work arounds, new hardware, new software, etc. I'm pretty sure it's on its last leg.

But this time I'm prepared. The other day I ran out and bought myself a 60GB external hard drive. The original intent was to move the massive amount of music and .jpg files over to clear some space on my internal drive hoping that would help alleviate some of the problem. Got those all moved, ran some more scans, and updated some drivers. All yesterday it worked like a dream. Then this morning, it froze. Again. Shit!

So, now I've gone through every single important file and moved them ALL to the external drive. The desktop I had before this one crashed and died and was completely unrecoverable. The laptop I had before this one crashed and died, but I was able to recover some of the files. I refuse to lose my files again. And I'm hoping that by moving them all over I've bought myself some time before this damned machine calls it quits. Kinda like buying insurance. Cuz you know what? I don't have the money to spend on a new system right now. Especially a fancy new one with all the bells and whistles, not the crap that I'm running right now.

What are you running? I'm always looking at the latest and greatest even though I know I won't do anything about buying one until this one dies (that's just the way I am). But I'd be interested in hearing what you have and why you like it (or don't)? Because I want to have all my homework done when the time comes to make the switch.

Friday, February 23

maybe it's just me

We live in your typical middle-income subdivision located in your typical mid-sized town. The houses are on decent sized lots - not large, sprawling acres, but not one of those postage sized lots where you feel like you can literally reach out your window and shake the neighbor's hand as he reaches out his. Most of the houses on our street are occupied by the "home owner", with a few renters thrown into the mix. Basically, a middle-America neighborhood.

After five years of living here, and several neighbors selling and/or moving, I've fought through a divorce, trying to find work, losing my job, and now trying to find work again to keep this house. I like my house, but that's not it. I like my neighbors even more. And to think of having to move to another place, starting over, not really knowing what to expect from the neighborhood or the neighbors is not appealing in the slighest.

There are two families I would consider friends. People I talk to on a regular basis. People I invite over, get together with during the holidays, and get invited to BBQ's and dinners at their house. And then there's the few that I chat with in passing but still know to a certain degree. All in all, it's a comfortable place to live.

Due to the climate where we live (read as rainy, rainy, rainy) there is little chance for seeing or socializing with the neighbors during the winter months as there is during the spring and summer when we're all outside taking care of our yards, washing cars, playing with the kids, etc. Except for maybe snow days when everyone seems to come out to marvel at (or bitch about) the white stuff.

So why am I spending all this time telling you about my neighborhood? I'll tell you. But first I have to give you a little more background on a couple of the neighbors.

At the beginning of last summer, one of our rental properties got new tenents. For purposes of identifying the different families we'll call them Family A, my next door neighbors will be Family B, and the second set of tenents to move in later in the summer will be Family C. So, B likes to entertain - especially during the summer months. Lots of BBQs, beer, food, beer, poker, and beer. She also makes this very wicked peach punch. And I do mean wicked! Anyway, shortly after A moved into the neighborhood, B was having the 'regular crowd' over for the usual party and decided to invite A. Family A is quite a bit younger (as in fifteen or twenty years younger) than the rest of the 'regulars' and wife of Family A took quite a fancy to the peach punch. So much, in fact, that she virtually drank the entire punch bowl full except for maybe a few small sips from unsuspecting others who'd never tried it before. Needless to say, A has not been invited back to anymore parties.

Then, towards the end of the summer along came Family C. Family C and Family A hit it off immediately despite the age difference and hang out together frequently and have their own parties that none of the 'regulars' are invited to. Not that we care really. Or cared. Until yesterday.

Wife of Family C works at one of the local drug stores, so I see her there more often than in the neighborhood. Yesterday, just as I was finishing up checking out she came back in off break. We started chatting and she asked if I'd met the "new" neighbors (these are the ones that moved in across the street after the ones who were having "random" attempted break-ins moved out). I told her I hadn't and she said, "Well, that's because you're so unsocial." HUH?? Then she laughed and said she hadn't either but wife of Family A had. We continued shooting the shit for a little while longer, then I left. But I can't help but think about what she said. Am I really unsocial?

Like I said, I have a few select neighbors that I get together with. Then there's the friends I chat with online and on the phone because they live in different states than I do. And I do have a small group of local friends that I not only hang out with online and on the phone, but also IRL. Granted I don't have a huge group of friends that I do things with on a regular basis IRL, but does that really make me unsocial? If because I don't want to hang out with a bunch of twenty-somethings whose husbands are in the military makes me unsocial, then I guess I am.

Maybe it's just me, but I don't think I'm unsocial. Do you?

Wednesday, February 21

happy birthday, and that's about it

Today is someone's birthday. Of course it's really many someone's birthdays, but I'm talking about my friend, Groove. And since he'll give me shit for even posting this, I might as well go the whole way and make it worth it. So, I've got two things - a little request and a little ode to my friend.

You, my readers, lurkers or regular commenter's alike, are requested to leave your birthday wishes for Groove on this post. The more the merrier!

I will leave my birthday message in the form of an ode.

Ode to My Friend Groove

Your name is Groove
and you often act rude,
except for the times
you feel the need to be lewd.

You're evil and silly,
and smart as a whip,
but one thing's for certain,
you don't take any shit.

The tough act you flaunt
makes everyone stare,
so I won't let them know
you're a big teddy bear.

You've given me guidance,
support, and laughing fits,
and rained piss on my "party"
when I'm down in the pits.

So, today, on your birthday
I just wanted to say,
you're a friend to the end.
Now go have fun... and get laid.

Happy Birthday Groove!!

Sunday, February 18

bras, panties, and other assorted feminine things

I am in love!

Yes, you heard me. In love!!

No, not with the girl pictured to the right, though she is stunning. I'm in love with the bra she's wearing. It's one from Vicky's Angels by VS Secret Embrace line. I got two - Poinsettia Red and Black. Okay, mine don't have the cutesy little butterflies on them, just a soft floral applique on the one side, nor do I look as hot and sexy as she does wearing them, but seriously, these are the MOST comfortable bras I've ever owned. And you want to know the best part? Saving $25. That's right - $25 off and a pair of free panties. How can you go wrong with that?

Speaking of panties, good Lord. Could there be any more options out there to choose from? I mean really. Bikinis. Boyshorts. Hiphuggers. Briefs. And my personal favorite - Thongs. Watch this then read on. And don't keep reading figuring you don't need to watch the video, or will watch it later. Look at it now or my story won't be nearly as funny. Even if you've seen it before because I'm sure it's been floating around the internet for awhile now, watch it again.

Okay, see ya in a minute.

Kotex Classic - video powered by Metacafe

Did you watch the video? Don't lie to me. I hate liars. Okay, well then let me tell you a funny story now that you've seen it.

So, I got this video sent to me in email earlier this week from my friend Terri. I then sent it on to a few more friends, including Stacie, who incidently will be here in 59 days. Well Stacie and I, doing what we do best, started talking about the video and laughing our asses off.

I said, "You know what kills me about that video? The clips where the girls are wearing low rise pants and the straps are sticking out the top - like how some girls wear their thongs today." She laughed and said, "I know. It's freakin' hysterical!"

As I said above, my personal favorite style of panties are thongs. Well this video, and my comment, got me going on a complete tangent about thong panties hanging out the back of low-rise pants. I mean really! Is it so hard to adjust your panties so they aren't hanging out? It reminds me of when the guys started wearing their pants ten sizes too big so they were practically hanging off the bottom of their butt cheeks while their boxers poured out over the top of the waist band that was strategically tied with a rope or something just so they wouldn't end up at their ankles. Talk about a poor fashion statement.

So now, here are these girls watching the tacky, bimbos like Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan sporting their thong panties pulled fully up their butt cracks so they can be seen hanging out of the back of their ultra low-rise pants. Yes, I'm aware that sometimes when sitting or bending the pants will shift and a bit of the thong panty sticks out over the top, but when you're in an upright position and you see more panty than you should see showing like some sort of tasteless fashion statement, ugh. Really. It's ridiculous.

Of course there is one thing worse than showing off your thong panties. That would be sporting no panties at all. Why, oh why, would girls want to go au naturale under their jeans? Good Lord. I don't know about you, but I wear my jeans to fit. No, they're not painted on, but they fit around all the curves and places they're supposed to. And where do you think the biggest seam in a pair of jeans is? And not only one, but two seams joining together?? Right in the kootch. That's right. Right were if you walk, or sit, or bend the right direction and keep subtly moving around you're likely to find it a pleasurable sensation and then... oooh... aaahh. Um, yeah. All over your jeans. Not. So. Much. If want to walk around pleasuring yourself might I suggest this. It works much better for whenever you want to "make it happy".

But please. Wear some damn panties.

Thursday, February 15

and, what if?

I know all of you with kids have had this happen to you - the fixation on a certain subject, or specific terminology. Lately around here it's been 'what if?'. I don't know when it started, maybe a week or two ago, but it's driving me nuts. And it can be about any subject. Oh, yeah, there's also 'and'. I'll talk about that one later on down this post. For example, I've heard the following 'what if's?' just in the past few days.

What if you hit that guy in front of you and he ran off the road and bounced off that tree and then came back around behind you? (heard while driving to school in the morning)

What if you walk in and they say 'blah blah, okay bye'? (heard when trying to answer the question of how long my interview was going to last)

What if they let us collect onehundredgazillionbillion seeds to feed the birds? (heard while playing one of the games on his Leapster)

What if I were a giant and my teacher was in outerspace and I came over and picked up the world and ate it... the whole world? (heard on the drive home from dinner the other night)

And these are just the recent 'what if's?'. There's that 'and' again. Seriously, I could fill a notebook with all the 'what if's?' I've heard in the past few weeks. When this first started, I actually tried to answer the questions. Now I'm at the point of asking 'WTF?'. So that's what I told him. Well, not really. What I said was, "The next time, and every time after, you ask me 'what if whatever' I am going to answer you with 'what if?'". I'm sure you can imagine where that's gotten me. {sigh} I can only hope this phase will pass soon. I don't care 'what if?'.

So the 'and' thing. Apparently they've learned at school that it's not correct to start a sentence using the word 'and'. I'm guilty of doing this here on my blog more than I care to admit. Whatever. It's my blog and I'll write it any way I feel like even if it isn't grammatically correct. Sometimes I really hate school. But my writing isn't the point. And yes, I know starting a sentence with 'but' isnt grammatically correct either. Sue me. The point is he was reading to me and whatever book it was started a sentence with 'and'. "You're not supposed to use 'and' to start a sentence," I was told. "Yes, I know" I responded. "Then why are they doing it?" he asked. Which could have started a whole discussion on why writers take liberties in their writing, and how even though there are rules of grammer sometimes they aren't followed, leading to sometimes rules in general aren't followed and it's not always neccessarily bad to not follow all the rules all of the time. Well, you get the point. Instead, my response was "I don't know. Why don't you ask your teacher?" Hehe.

On that note, since I know you've been missing me posting the Joke of the Day, I leave you with this.

Pearl: Rachel is a terrific housekeeper.
Shirl: Why do you say that?
Pearl: Because she's been divorced three times and has kept all three houses.

Saturday, February 10

my challenge

I was told by someone who reads my blathering on a regular basis - no names mentioned that my frivilous daily drivel doesn't amount to much compared to their infrequent novelettes. So I took mental note of that and took it as a challenge to write something more substantial, if you can call random ranting substantial.

WTF is up with people who tell you they're down on their luck and just need a couple of bucks to get by and, oh, by the way, are a little short on cash to pay the sales tax that since they're from Oregon where there is no sales tax and they didn't count on paying more on the new tire they unexpectedly had to put on their car in order to get back home? Sister, can you spare about $3.00? Yeah! That should do it. Notsomuch. What happened to the good old dime? Not the point.

The point is I certainly don't mind helping people who really need the help. This is usually reserved for people I know because, afterall, how the hell would you know if they really need the help if you don't know a damn thing about them? Of course some people, no matter how hard you try to help them, just won't help themselves, so you might as well not help them anyway because then you're just enabling. But that's not the point either, and definitely a subject for a different day.

The real point is just after getting out of the car in the Target parking lot this afternoon, WJ and I were approached by a dude asking for $3.00, or anything I could spare. He gave me the song and dance I just wrote about above. The first thing that went through my mind was 'strange dude approaching and it's just me and my son, he'd better not try anything'. Once I got over that initial 2.5 seconds of thought and really heard what he was asking I stood there for another 2.5 seconds just staring at him. As you well know, I've been out of work for nearly 6 months now. Never ONCE did I think about asking people for handouts. Shit! I wouldn't even take money from friends who offered it to me with NO strings attached. I've cut back on frivilous spending. Borrowed from myself. And, if it came right down to it and I absolutely needed the money and didn't have it, I would have taken ANY work I could get instead of holding out for something that will let me live my life comfortably and withing the lifestyle I've become accustomed.

Why do some people think it's okay to just walk around or stand on a streetcorner or freeway offramp asking for money? IT'S NOT OKAY! Let me repeat that. IT'S NOT FREAKIN' OKAY!!! Get a job. Any job. There's a shitload of them out there. I know cuz I've seen them. I'm just being a bit particular in my search. But if I really needed to work and bring more money home than what I've been collecting in unemployment and child support I would have been working within the first week of being cut by corporate computer giant. To expect others, hardworking or unemployed like myself, to just hand out money to help you because you got in a jam if you really did and aren't just bullshitting us while you run home and sit in front of your big screen plasma TV sipping on whatever drink is the fancy of the day is ludicrous. And rude. And not a game I want to play with you. Not today. Not ever.

Is this more substantial than the usual drivel?

Friday, February 9

sick watch, name calling, and just for laughs

Third day on sick watch here. {sigh} Every time I think WJ's fever is breaking/gone, it rears it's ugly head again. So being that it's Friday and he's already missed two days of school this week, I'm keeping him home again. I need him well by Monday so I don't have to scramble around looking for childcare to go to my interview.

I got a big laugh this morning while blog surfing my usual haunts. I came upon Elizabeth's blog last week via another one. She was celebrating her 40th birthday and being a very soon to be there compadre, I left her birthday greetings and have been back to read almost every day. This morning I read her post from yesterday and it was so funny I had to steal it and post here. It's another meme, but I won't call out anyone in particular to tag. But if you do this on your blog, post here and let me know!

Name Calling

L: Everyone loves you.
I : You are GREAT in bed.
S : Fuckin crazy.
A : You like to drink.
I don't know what to say!?! LOL

A : You like to drink.
B : You like people.
C : You are really silly.
D : You like to drink.
E: You are easy to fall in love with.
F : You are dead sexy.
G : You never let people tell you what to do.
H : You have very good personality and good looks.
I : You are GREAT in bed.
J : People adore you
K : You’re wild and crazy.
L: Everyone loves you.
M : Best kisser ever.
N: You like to drink.
O: Awesome kisser.
P : You are popular with all types of people.
Q : You are a hypocrite.
R : Easy to fall in love with.
S : Fuckin crazy.
T : You’re loyal to those you love.
U : You really like to chill.
V : You are not judgemental.
W : You are very broad minded.
X : You never let people tell you what to do.
Y: Best bf/gf anyone could ask for.
Z : You are Always ready

And finally, the Joke of the Day...

One afternoon, Signore Piani was startled to see a panda walk into his exclusive Italian restaurant. He sat the panda down at his finest table and had his best waiter serve him an exquisite meal. As soon as the panda finished his last bite, he stood up, pulled out a BB gun, and shot out all the lightbulbs. Then he started for the door. Both the waiter and the owner shouted after him, "How could you do such a thing and walk away?" The panda said, "What do you expect? Just look me up in the dictionary." Signore Piani and the waiter quickly ran to the dictionary and looked up panda. Then they understood. "Panda," it read, "an animal that eats shoots and leaves."


Thursday, February 8

it's either all or nothing

Holy crow!!

I have not one, but TWO interviews scheduled for next week!!! Both called sometime between leaving the house at 12:45pm and walking in the door with a shitload of grocery bags. I almost broke my neck tripping over the dog to answer the phone.

Monday morning is with another state agency and Tuesday morning is a non-profit association. I think I'd be happy with either so I just hope this isn't one of those we already know who we're hiring but need to interview our obligatory number of people anyway sort of deals. Besides that, I just really want to move out of the UI payscale and into the JOB payscale. Hehe!!

Anyway, if you could send some good vibes my way, I'd really appreciate it! I'll be a nervous wreck come Sunday. So maybe sending some calm vibes would be good too.

sixty-nine baby!!!

Hehe! That would be sixty-nine days until Stacie arrives!! What were you thinking I was talking about? Get your mind out of the gutter. Sheesh!

Other notable events for today include my friend since we were 5 years old, Denise's 40th birthday. Haha! You're 40 before me!! Happy Birthday girl! And my parents' 44th wedding anniversary. Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad! Damn! Can you imagine being married to the same person for that long? I don't know how they've done it but I'm amazed. And it's also Ms. Sizzle's two year anniversary of her first blog. See, got my party hat on for ya girl!!

Somewhat non-notable events for the day include WJ still being sick. Me still looking for a job. Oh, and Survivor Fiji starting tonight! I should have set up a Survivor pool. Damn, I always think about these things too late.

And now your Joke of the Day...

Saul: Do you believe that television causes violence?
Paul: Sure - my kids are always fighting over which shows to watch.

Wednesday, February 7

the uninvited guest

I have a sick kid. Ugh!

How is it when our kids get sick, we as parents are rendered seemingly helpless? Maybe I'm the only one who feels like this. I just hate watching my normally active child lay listless and lethargic while the creepy crud takes over his little body.

And there's this whole 'fever' thing that confuses the shit out of me. I know a fever is the body's natural mechanism for fighting off whatever virus is brewing, but when the kid's burning up with a temp of 102.5 I run around the house looking for the Tylenol or Motrin, or whatever else I can find to bring it down. Counterproductive? Maybe. Confusing? Definitely.

Anyway, that's what's happening here today. We're vegging out and fighting off the creepy crud. Antibacterial wipes and handwash are my new best friends.

Oh, and since I missed giving you your daily dose of the Joke of the Day yesterday, you get two doses today. Wouldn't want you to miss any of the fun.

Did you hear the one about...
...the frat boy who planned for his future? He bought two cases of beer.

Why was the chicken scolded?
For using fowl language.


Updated: Looks like it'll be another day at home tomorrow. My poor little guy!

Monday, February 5

Monday again? Part III

Not exactly the most productive Monday I've had. And very long considering I was up at 4:48am. I guess that's what happens when you sleep like the dead for the first three hours of the night. Early wake-up call. I shouldn't complain though. I'd rather be on the sleep like the dead, early wake-up schedule than the can't keep my eyes open past 9:30pm schedule. That just bugs me.

On a good note, it's been an extremely funny day, so that should count for something. Yes? My girl Stacie and I laughed it up pretty good this morning. One subject after another. We even tormented poor Groove for awhile there apparently making his head spin. Now that's something I would have paid money to actually see!

Speaking of funny, did you watch the Super Bowl yesterday? Not the game. That was pitiful. After the opening runback, it just went down hill. Did you watch the commercials? Seeing all the new commercials is always the best part. For the most part, I was really disappointed this year. I'd already seen a bunch of them, and most of the others weren't worth a damn. Except for this one. It was hys-FREAKIN-terical!!!

And I must not forget the Joke of the Day!

Waiter, waiter
Max: Waiter, this soup tastes like sewer water!
Waiter: How do you know?

On that note, time to get the kiddo some grub. With lots of tomatoes!

Sunday, February 4

got any new music lately? or how about a movie?

I did! It all started last week when I saw the new Norah Jones album Not Too Late was released. I already had her other two albums and listen to them frequently, so knew I needed to get the latest. It's awesome! Just like the other two.

But I didn't stop there. Last night I went shopping and picked up a baker's dozen of assorted music from various artists including Rosie Thomas, James Blunt, KT Tunstall, Mark Joseph, and Amos Lee. Some very good stuff! Have you got anything new lately? Tell me about it.

I also saw the most hilarious movie. The Aristocrats. No. Not The Aristocats. Disney would have a heart attack before he's put his name on this movie. You have to see this. If you want raunchy, side-splitting humor beyond measure, rent this movie now. I seriously thought I'd pee my pants. It's a documentary about a private joke that's been passed on from comedian to comedian throughout the years since Vaudeville. It's disgusting, shocking, hysterical fun told by some of the best comedians out there.

Other than that the weekend was pretty much the same as most weekends around here. A little laundry. A little cleaning. A little football. A little craziness. All in all good. Hope yours was the same.

Oh, and lest I forget the Joke of the Day...

Rabbi: Do you know why Moses wandered the desert for 40 years?
Little Joey: Because he wouldn't ask for directions?


Thursday, February 1


So it appears the day's almost gone, and since I have nothing to say today other than I was a total moron yesterday and twisted my ankle after stepping into a pothole thus throwing my body into a forward motion and landing hard on my left knee and elbow which are now subsequently fucked up, you're stuck with the following Joke of the Day.

Mrs. Treemont: What is your son Junior going to be when he graduates from high school?
Blanche: About 30.

Yes, stupid. But just remember, I'm not writing them. Just sharing them.