for terri

Double the YUM!!

right place... wrong time

Accepting the unknown has always been difficult for me. Yet I find myself being taken there again and again (especially in the past 2 years). So far, I think I've done pretty well making my way through all the changes.

So, here I go again. Nothing 'official' yet, but my contract is being terminated. Could be next week... a couple weeks from now... or even a month (highly doubtful). Just another one of those being in the right place at the wrong time situations. In some ways I can understand the 'why', but it doesn't make it any easier to pick myself up and start looking for work again. And the fear of the unknown came roaring in last night. (Which is why I waited until today to try to make any sense of it.)

The sense that I've come to is this... I've proven to myself that I can still do it! I knew going in there were no guarantees. Then again, there never are guarantees in life, so that should have been a no brainer. I tried to keep the mindset of 'if my badge doesn't set off the alarm on the way in the door, and my computer boots with my login... then I'm working today'. Watching 'permanent employees' (what an oxymoron) be walked out the door (some 18 or 20 year workers) was awful. Working side by side with people who I now consider friends facing their own uncertainty has been a strain. But trying to keep a smile on my face and go about 'business as usual' knowing that my business will come to an abrupt end in a matter of days is the worst stress of all. I'll have another notch on my resume for my time spent there. I just hope someone sees that sooner than later.

I spent the night feeling sorry for myself. And today I'll spend some time picking myself up and moving on. But at least I'm not annoying!

holy shit is it ever HOT

Day 4 of 90+ weather here in the Pacific Northwest. Friday... 101, Saturday... 98, Sunday... 99, and as of now it's 95 frickin degrees. This is insane!

My neighbors across the street (who also moved here from AZ) asked on Saturday, "Remind you of Tucson?"

"Hell NO!", I said. "In Tucson I was hibernating in air conditioning." (A luxury I don't have here, but they do. Sheesh!)

At least I got to spend the day in the AC at work. Of course being at work was another story entirely, with org changes still being announced, and stupid people thinking it's thier business to tell me first thing in the morning "I hear you're contract's been cut" when they know NOTHING of the sort and are just bitter and angry that they had the axe lowered on them (as a permanent employee). Cut the dead wood... but watch that it doesn't come back and try to fall on you.

The weekend was pretty good even with the heat. WJ was with his dad and I got the carpets shampooed and went to the movies... by myself. LOL First time for that. But shit... it was hot... and I didn't feel like waiting around for someone to go with me. Saw Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Mans Chest. Don't know what it is about Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom as pirates, but they sure are yummy! Good flick. If you haven't seen it, go. Great comedy and action mix.

Also read the 11th in the series of Stephanie Plum books by Janet Evanovich. The 12th comes out tomorrow, but I'm cheap so I'll wait for it to come in paperback.

So that's it. Nothing too exciting. Now I'm off to grab another beer and maybe stick my head in the freezer for awhile. Cheers!

exactly

"Never, never, never do the least bit more than what is expected of your job in this business. You will never get anything in reward, and the only gratitude you may sense from superiors is not for you, but that they found someone who would willingly overwork themselves."

- a bitter waitress

i'm back

Sheesh! Didn't mean to be gone for so long. It's been a busy few weeks with the Rents here, Wesley's birthday, Mom's birthday, 4th of July, and all the usual junk. So, here's a quick update and some pics from our past few weeks.

The Rents arrived June 21st and stayed until the 4th. Much to my surprise, it was the best visit we've had in many years. Not a single argument, no walking on eggshells. Just lots of fun, and laughs.

Wesley turned 6 on the 26th. This year's theme was.... (can you guess?).... sports! His favorite gift was a Seattle Sonics jersey I just happened upon at the last minute. In the past week, he's worn it at least 4 days. He spent a whole week celebrating his birthday starting with the weekend prior going camping (in a cabin) at a lake with his Dad, opening his presents from Grandma/Grandpa and me the day before (followed by dinner at his favorite restaurant - the Mayan), then going to see Cars on his actual birthday. Throughout the week, Wesley and the Rents played at the park, went on outings, and had a great time together. The following Saturday was a joint birthday party at the YMCA with his friend Cody (who turned 6 on the 30th). Again, a sports theme complete with basketball, hockey, rock climbing, and adventure zone play.

The holiday weekend was packed with a trip to Point Defiance Zoo & Aquarium, Mom's birthday, the Rents heading back to California, and the 4th. Got some great pics at the zoo. These are two of my favorite of the animals.
This crazy walrus came and sat right in front of us, posing for pics. He is 24 years old and weighs 3200 lbs. The look on his face is priceless, like there's 24 years of wisdom bottled up in his little head. My other favorite for the day is this pic of one of the polar bears. It was a hot, sunny day and after spending some time "sun bathing" he jumped in the water and started showing off. At one point, he came down right in front of Wesley and just looked at him (but there were too many people in front of me to get a good pic of it). Don't know how old or big this guy is, but I did learn that male polar bears can get as tall as 10 ft.

Wesley also got to go on stage at the animal show, having an Asian owl swoop down over him.

The 3rd was Mom's birthday... shhh... don't tell anyone. She doesn't like anyone to know. We had a pretty low key day, just hanging out, a little shopping, and the Rents packing to go home.

On the 4th, Wesley and I drove the Rents to the airport, then went to Fred Meyer and picked up some flowers, transplanted them, and kicked back until it got dark. Our neighbors who we normally celebrate the 4th with were gone this year, so we just lit a few fireworks off out front and then watched all the other crazies shoot hundreds of dollars worth of "bang" into the sky. Don't get me wrong, I love to watch, but for all the money spent on fireworks I might as well just roll up a wad a cash and set it on fire.

So, now we're back to the weekly routine of work (ugh!) and summer camp. And I'm missing my friends who are off on vacations themselves. Plans for this weekend: R-E-L-A-X

for all my chai loving friends

Run... don't walk.... to your nearest Baskin Robbins!! I hadn't been there in years, but stopped the other night on the way home from the dance recital (our neighbor's daughter... not Wesley). Anyway, there's a (new) ice cream called Tea of Tranquility and is it ever yum!! Chai tea ice cream with pieces of ginger cookie running through it. One scoop was the perfect ending to a very, very long day.

Enjoy!

for stacie

Heeeeeeyyyy!

for liss

tag.... you're it

favorite color: black... with pink coming in a close second
word i most like to be described as: evil
best meal i cook: spaghetti
favorite dessert: ice cream
favorite movie: thelma & louise
favorite outfit: skinny jeans, little white t, flip flops
usually in bed by: midnight unless there's evil lurking
favorite sounds: quiet
i wish: i try not to
what i crave: not appropriate for this blog
surround me with: silliness

it's you're turn:
Stacie
Liss
Jess
Sara
and anyone else who cares to share

frivilous drivel

It's been one year already since Stacie started this blog for me. One long, eventful year.

It's amazing to think about everything that's happened in that short time. And somehow I've managed to keep posting every now and then about frivilous drivel. Even though I've have fewer hours to post and less and less I can say out loud... here we are a year later.

If you still visit, enjoy!

day from hell

apparently i've been offensive.... work sucked.... so glad that today is only the beginning of the week

now i've got even more crappy days to look forward to

yeah, it's been a week........

And I still haven't said much here. My week's been filled with uncertainty, stupidity, boring drivel, and lots and lots of whining. None of them affecting me (neccessarily), just indirectly affecting me. KWIM?

My three bitches for the week are Johnny Jackass, night terrors and my meds.

Johnny's seen the kid twice in the last two weeks for 2-3 hrs each time. Summer hasn't even started and he's already on his flight plan. Which ties in to bitch #2.... night terrors. In the last week, the kid's had 3 of them. If you (or your kids) have never gone through them, let me just tell you they're AWFUL. Research tells me they're common at this age. It also tells me stress is one of the most common triggers. Yeah, I'd be stressed too if it was "that time" of the year and my Johnny was off playing without me again. Brings all the abandonment issues to the forefront again. And guess who's left holding the bag?

None of this helps with my meds being off. Damn doctors think they know what I need because some medical book gives them a "range". Fuck that! I am not one of the 99 people they tested that live in their freakin' range. But, of course, what do I know since I don't have a medical degree and only know that I was feeling the best I've felt in years and now feel like ass.

Time for another change.

some people

trying to get them to speak up is like pulling teeth...... i'm working on it

going awol

The rents arrive today. They'll be here for a week. That says it all.

catching flak

Nothing new, nothing to say, but don't want to catch flak for being the only one without an updated blog.

Phhhhffffffffffffttttttttttt!!!!!!!!

complicated

Take a look around, this is what I see
Is there anybody else that feels like me
You sweat, you bleed
What you get ain't what you see
Up is down and black is white to me
I'm complicated, I get frustrated
Right or wrong, love or hate it
I'm complicated, you can' t sedate it
I heard that song but I won't play it
It's alreight, i's OK, you wouldn't want me any other way
Momma, keep on praying 'cause I ain't changin'
I'm complicated
I'm smart enough to know what I don't know
I'm fool enough to stay when I should go
You work, you cry
You watch your whole life pass you by
Sometimes you've got to close your eyes to see
Is there anybody out there?
Just like everbody out there
Just one somebody out there, just like me
I'm complicated, I get frustrated
Right or wrong, love or hate it
I'm complicated, you can' t sedate it
I heard that song but I won't play it
Is there anybody out there?
Just like everybody out there
Just one somebody out there
Just like me

(written and sung by Jon Bon Jovi.... posted on this blog for a friend)

just stuff

It's FRIDAY!!!! It could NOT have come any sooner. Work's been hellish, WJ's been driving me nuts, and I am SO ready for the weekend. So here' s the weekly catch up........

Kid gets home from the weekend with his dad. Half hour back home...... fever. 2am........ puking. Next day somewhere around 4pm......... fever breaks and I've got Damien on my hands. Not exactly the way I wanna start out the week. Been fine ever since.

Next day...... just the ssdd at work.

Day after that...... only thing I can kinda remember is staying up WAY WAY too late. Two and a half hours of sleep make the following day very long.

Then there's the day everyone felt the need to visit my cube and tell me about this and that, bitch and gripe, ask opinions, try to get info, want something, need something, and pretty much ANY and EVERY other thing you can think anyone would stop by. The result........ very little accomplished. But, going off of the 2.5 hrs of sleep.......... it was probably a good day for it to happen since not much else was.

Which brings us to today...... freakin' ghost town at work. Wished I'd brought WJ's bowling set with me. It would of helped to pass the time. Left early to take WJ for an eye appointment. Good news is he's now up to 20/20 right and 20/25 left from the original 20/20 right and 20/40 left. The bad news is he still has to wear the specs. Not bad news for any other reason than he SO wants to play sports, so now I'm going to have to invest in a pair of sports specs. Chaching! Got home from the appt and was enjoying my first beer when the phone rings and a friend is having woes. Her husband is a putz. And he's just taken all his frustration out on her. Um, NO!! Deal with your problems instead of trying to place blame on someone else. So, she and her son came over for awhile so she could "get another opinion" on stuff. And now......... food. Need to get some since I've not eaten yet today. Then again, the way the scale's reading these days, I might not eat just so I can watch the numbers continue to plummet.

Have a good one!!! And go update your blog you slacker.

on blogs

The 2006 Bloggies are out. And the other night I think I visited every single winning blog..... and some of the blogs listed on the winning blog sites. All I have to say is there 's some weird shit out in blogs land. Some of my favorites among the winners (soon to be listed in my Places I Visit section) are PostSecret, Waiter Rant, girl with a one-track mind, and Fark. Among the non-winners are Threadbared and Suicide Girls. Check them out.

piercings and tatoos

The other week (I think it was last), Liss and I were IMing and we started talking about piercings and tatoos. I know many people with both - some with few, some with many. I only have double pierced ears, which is a total waste since I never use the second holes and always wear the exact same pair of earrings every day. But if I ever forget to put them in, I truly feel naked all day.

We didn't get into a very long conversation about either, but it's something I've thought about on and off over the years. When I was in my 20's I thought both were pretty cool. Only to look at, on other people. In my early 30's I couldn't figure out why people pierced or tatooed some of the body parts that are now common place areas to adorn. Now, pushing into my 40's (at a much too rapid pace), I once again find myself thinking about how cool the tatoos are and wondering.... would I, could I, should I? I know I won't ever do any more piercings, but the tatoos keep sucking me in.

So, let me hear from you. Do you have piercings? tatoos? How many? When did you get them? And, most important, what do you like most about them?

nothing exciting

Nothing exciting to report from the past week. Work (which apparently is now a taboo subject in blogland), not enough sleep, and being a not so nice mommy yesterday morning. Oh, and then there's the subject of piercings and tattoos... but that'll have to be another entry.

So the work news that I can post without fear of retaliation is that I had a very, very long week. Clocked 36 hours by the end of Thursday, so I bolted at 2:30 on Friday, came home home and had something to eat (since I'd missed lunch), and flopped on the couch to read. Now almost halfway through book four... Four to Score by Janet Evanovich. I'm sure by tomorrow I'll be on book five.

Not enough sleep seems to be a common problem for me. If I go to be too early, I wake up in the middle of the night and can't fall asleep again until it's almost time to get up for the day (which is usually at the buttcrack of dawn anyway). Then, if I stay up later, I sleep without interruption, but then don't feel like I've gotten enough sleep to make it through the day. It's a shitty cycle to be on, but haven't found anything that works to change it.

Being a bad mommy always comes back and bites me in the butt. Hopefully this one won't, but I'm sure it will. A little background... Every week that precedes WJ's departure to his father's house for the weekend, I have to hear about how excited he is. Fine. Can't imagine what there is to be so excited about, but hey... I'm bitter. And I know the truth! But I digress. Yesterday morning the excitement just sorta pushed a button in me. Following is our conversation:

"I'm going to Daddy's today!" says WJ.

"Yes, I know."

"I'm so excited!!!" (said while jumping around and procratinating on getting ready for school)

"I'm happy for you," I reply.

"I love going to Daddy's!"

(At this point I am starting to boil. Thoughts of saying "Well, maybe you want to go LIVE with Daddy" are popping up in my head.)

I turn to him and say, "Ya know, I'm happy that you like going to your Dad's. But I have to tell you... hearing about it a hundred times throughout the week is really wearing thin. It makes me feel like you'd rather be there than here and don't like living in this house, with me."

"I love living in this house" he replies. (Totally missing the point, but of course he would... he's 5!)

Quiet for a minute while I dry my hair. I see his mouth moving but can't hear him over the dryer, so I shut it down.

"What?"

"I love you!"

"I love you too."

Fast forward a bit to the drive to school.

"Mommy..."

"Yes."

"I love you. And I love our house."

"That's good."

"I just like to visit my Dad."

"I know."

Having this sort of conversation with anyone can be draining, but when it's with a 5 year old, it's disasterous. He doesn't get it. Hell, I'm not sure I even get it. Maybe one day it will all be clear. Until then, I bite my tongue as much as I can. But sometimes I act like a bad mommy.

Well, enough blathering! All you who've been bugging me to update my blog, got your request. The rest of you... if you've read down to here, you might as well keep reading to the end. I'm off to get a much needed haircut, then maybe a little shopping. Need some new jeans since mine keep insisting on falling off me. Could be worse, eh?

Have a great Saturday!!