Wednesday, November 7

bullying has a whole new meaning

Okay, so I'm cheating. Sort of. This post is actually being written on Tuesday night after a very, very long day and being posted on Wednesday. But hell, I'm still writing and posting something every day, so I'm counting it.

Some of you may remember my complaining last school year about this "drama" at the kiddo's school. I can't find the post now, but that doesn't matter. The Reader's Digest version of the story is this: third grade boy threatens two third grade girls by saying he's going to bring a gun to school and shoot them; boys parents are called; boy receives one day suspension; girls parents are never notified by the school; drama ensues. Needless to say everyone was picking which side of the fence they stood on this issue - some much more vocally than others. Me. I got pulled - kicking and screaming might I add - into the drama, and into the "ring".

Fast forward to this school year. I was asked to be on a committee of parents, teachers, one board member and the principal to rewrite the school's bullying and harassment policy. Tonight concluded our second and final meeting for the calendar year. Holidays take precidence over policies, ya know!? Actually I'm surprised how quickly this has all come together being that the group was equally divided from the original fence jumpers of last year. At the end of tonight's meeting we have an agreed upon policy in place. Now we have to wait for a review, and adoption, of the policy by the BOD. If approved, we go into the procedure writing phase. If not, I guess we're back to square one.

The things that make me sad about all of this are 1) that we, or any other school, need to have policies like these in place because the offenses will be committed, not as a justincase precaution; 2) that so many really good families left over last year's drama instead of staying and trying to change things; 3) that this drama divided what was once a pretty tight community of people instead of bringing them closer together; and 4) that our children are growing up in a society that perpetuates violence as normal, daily activity and see nothing wrong with it.

I know I am just one person - a single mother, at that - trying to raise my son in the best way I can, but I still believe that it takes a village (or community) to raise our children to be the best they can be. I may sound corny, or old fashioned, but that's me. At least I don't just bury my head in the sand and let someone else speak for me.

9 comments:

Chag said...

You're right. It does suck that schools need policies like this.

Whiskeymarie said...

At least you know you're part of the solution. The parents that avoid/deny this sort of thing are part of the reasons these problems occur.
Better proactive than reactive, I say.

mrsmogul said...

Third grader?? Wow, that's scary, I believe in the village! The village people are also welcome there!

kilax said...

I agree. What you teach your children at home only goes so far. They need guidance, support, and safety in every part of their lives. You won't always be there!

It's too bad that all this happened. :(

Lesley said...

Third grade must have changed since I was there because that is effing scary! I also believe in the village -- not that I have a kiddo yet, but someday I will and I will continue to believe strongly in the village at that time, I am sure. It sucks that the school has to have committees and policies like this, however, I think the school is lucky to have you on their committee!

creative-type dad said...

So sad that things like that happen...

the weirdgirl said...

It is sad. But you know, I remember kids making threats to each other when I was in grade school in the 70s. I remember seeing a fight between two boys get to the point where one of the kids had a brick in his hand (off school campus). Is it really that things are more violent now? Or are we just WAY more proactive to even a hint of violence?

Of course, I want to protect my kids as much as possible today, but I can't pretend that the past was any rosier. How do you differentiate between kids mouthing off and actual threats? I'll be interested to see what your committee comes up with for your new policy.

Andie D. said...

I want to know what the bully's parents did. Are they involved? If the bully were my son, I'd be involved in the process in a major way. It's not just the kids that get picked on who need a procedure. The damn bullies/bullies to be need to LEARN why it's bad, alternative forms of behavior, consequences, etc.

Freak Magnet said...

I think there are some policies that need to be made (as in this case), but some are freaking ridiculous. I just read a girl got suspended for hugging her friends.